Hiatus

I took a break...

The weeds grew in the garden. The gazebo project didn't get finished. My blotanical blogger ranking moved up. (Now how does that happen?)

I'm often afraid of letting go. I push and push and then I run out of steam. The house doesn't get cleaned. I stop writing. I don't check e-mails religiously. I don't keep track of food shopping. (We ran out of ketchup this week! UGH! That's a hard one in this house.) I feel like I'm losing control and only when I let the everyday activities slip through my fingers can I regain composure.

Why do I garden? Do I garden because I enjoy it or because I need to do it? If I don't keep up with it, the plants will turn into a jungle. My yard will be like everyone else's, even though they expect more when they come to visit because I AM a gardener. Don't they expect spectacular things from me? When I start to worry about the final result of the gardening, it isn't fun anymore. And if it isn't fun, what's the point?

We had bouts of nasty weather last week and school vacation started for my daughter two weeks ago. I didn't feel like writing, gardening or keeping my routine. I read. I even read fiction. It was such a wonderful guilty treat. Reading any kind of fiction to me is like many people's views of reading romance novels, I imagine. (I haven't read a romance novel since I was 15...not that I have anything against it.) I spend most of my time reading non-fiction - gardening books, history, biography...I've been reading Sophie Kinsella's wonderful Shopaholic series. I've played Barbies. I even baked a pie. ("What. Melissa bake?" Those who know me well may not believe it. I really do on occasion, but generally food preparation gets in the way of real life.)

I received a lovely letter in the mail yesterday telling me that my book proposal is beautiful, but this particular publisher wouldn't be able to market it properly. Last week, I attended the retirement party of a former boss -- one of my most admired bosses of all time -- and was asked by his assistant to consider taking his place. I was truly honored. Real life was knocking at the door. It was telling me that good things are ready to happen. It has finally stopped raining in NH. So, the gazebo was finished yesterday. The gardens are just about weeded...I'm refreshed...

Hiatus over.

Garden Envy

I have garden envy and I've been sitting here trying to decide if that is a bad thing. I wouldn't say that I'm jealous or "green" with envy. I just sometimes admire others' gardens in a way that makes something stir inside of me. I want what they have. I don't want to give up what I have though. I'm not dissatisfied with what I've got. I just want to make what I've got better or different.

When this feeling stirs inside me, I want to run from the admired garden and start planting furiously in my own. I get filled with ideas that are ready to pour out. I feel creative. I have a realization like "AHA! All I need to do to add this atmosphere to my garden is to plant (fill in plant of the moment here.)" Or, "AHA! All I need to do is hang more wind chimes, build a trellis, etc. etc."

When I walk into a garden that inspires me, I feel like I walked into a great story that someone else wrote. (Have you ever gotten so involved in a reading a narrative, that the fiction felt like it was your real life?) I have become one of the characters of this other story. I have become the GARDENER . But, when I finally do get home, I realize that this alternate world really doesn't fit mine.

I have realized my propensity to project other people's garden taste onto my own space for a while. I began contemplating this phenomenon in earnest yesterday after my daughter and I attended a "garden party" hosted by two of the gardeners I interviewed for my book last year. Their gardens are amazing. They spend a great deal of time in their spaces, have a lot of knowledge, and have transformed their lands into gardeners' paradise.

I walked among the first garden, which was created by Karen, and felt transformed. Her fields are already blooming furiously. My colors are just getting under way. I said to myself while admiring her lupine, "This is missing from my space. I must plant lupine!" My mind wound around the realization that lupine is a missing character in my story. "And anemones! So, this is what you can do with anemones! And listen to those wind chimes in the warm summer breeze. What a wonderful idea to hang them from all the trees." My main source of envy for her garden is of her large space between horse fields and fruit trees. Here she has a garden just stuffed with all kinds of wonderful perennials. At first glance, the space looks like a field of wildflowers, but when one looks closer, one can see that it is a well planned space bursting with color. After viewing this, I then moved on to the second gardener, Emily's space. Her gardens wrap around her house, leading one around the yard to reveal a rolling country landscape in her backyard. Her gardens are very different from Karen's, but equally enticing. "AH! primrose. I don't have those! And her columbine steals the show back here!" My mind furiously wove the gardens into my own story, trying to think of them as the backdrop for my activities in my own yard.

When I arrived home, something felt wrong as soon as I started up the driveway. My property is slanted. It doesn't resemble the spaces of either Karen or Emily at all. Everything is terraced. I can't create a large square, flat wildflower field. I have no rolling hills. The back of my house stares at trees. I sighed as I began pulling my mind out of someone else's story. Then I began admiring my little rose garden and the way I have fairy roses wrapping around a fenced area of the yard. I smiled at the daisies, running along the first terraced wall that welcomes me home. I looked for my favorite plants that feel like old friends. They are characters whom I know quite well and with which I can personally identify.

This works for me. With each bout of garden envy, I learn how to weave another person's creative ideas into my own garden spaces just a little bit. Gardeners have different landscapes that we mold based on our knowledge, experiences and tastes. The landscape, like the gardener must also be the central character of the story, for it can only be molded by the gardener so much. I realized that there were many things about the others' gardens that didn't excite me. I will not be recreating Karen's rock garden for example. It is beautiful, but I don't have rocky crags requiring this kind of gardening.

So, all in all, I think a little garden envy is not a bad thing. I think I have now come to terms with it.

(blogger isn't letting me post photos at the moment. I'll try ot put some up of the gardens later)

Garden Portraits

This is what "Garden Portraits" is all about.

While working in the garden today, my daughter sat and ate her snack on a rock near me. The sun had not yet risen above the tall trees in that part of the yard. The tree behind her (I'm not sure what it is) is in full bloom. She chose her own outfit today and it was certainly fit for a portrait. I looked up from trimming the yew and said "May I take your portrait? You look beautiful!" The light, my daughter, the setting...everything came together. These times make the best pictures - serendipity in the garden. My husband came out right after I had retrieved my camera. He and I were not dressed for the occasion, otherwise I would have run to get the tripod for a perfect family portrait too. I snapped a quick pic. of him with our daughter and handed the camera to him to do the same for me. We may not look our best, but the memory of our unexpected portrait session will last - funny faces and all!

Highlights from My Garden

As promised, here are some highlights from my garden. It is early in the season for New England, so I have mostly green. I also tend to purchase plants for a late summer garden and need to refocus efforts on getting more color this time of year. The gardens are most vibrant at the end of August into September and October. So, I will take more picture to share then. Our house is a little over twenty years old. When we moved in three years ago, there was a lot of mature/established plantings. They were very spread out and it has been my task over the past few years to try to pull things together. I have also put some time into moving and removing plantings, but some are so oversized that they cannot be removed without some major effort now. I am always floored when people don't plan ahead.

For example, why did previous owners put a fifteen foot cypress right in front of the kitchen window so you can't see the rest of the backyard while looking out? I'm sure it was quite cute when it was a baby. It is gorgeous now, but definitely misplaced.
These beautiful raised bed in my backyard have been one of my biggest projects. It is home to some of my favorite plants, most notably my rosebushes, St. Johnswort and Artemesia. Since it is near my back door, the beds also house my herb garden and some vegetables that don't fit in our "vegetable" garden. Following the raised beds along the back of the house, are granite steps that lead to the backyard. The yard houses our vegetable garden.

Out in front of the house a a brick pathway with a new garden that I started last year. Hydrangea, digitalis, sedum, wygelia and other select plants have been added by me. Established hollies, rhododendron, azalea and other foundation plantings form the backbone of the garden. Below the pathway is my most complete garden with rocks forming a backdrop to daisies, coreopsis and other summer favorites.

Around the shady side of the house is a newly established "reading garden" with a brook running alongside it. I put this in last year for my daughter and have added Brunela, Jacob's Ladder, hostas and other shade lovers. I have a very long driveway and lots of woods. Halfway down the driveway is a little sitting area that I'm still trying to figure out. It too is very shaded. I've tried strewing "shady" wildflowers this year. Daisies seem to do well based on last year's experience...we'll see what happens. I have found lots of wild Jack-in-the-pulpit plants here that throughly delight me.


I hope that I didn't bore you, but at least I've documented my spring garden. Thanks for taking the tour with me!