Yellow Roses

Did you get flowers for Valentine's Day?

My favorite flower is a yellow rose. Yellow is my favorite color and I have a passion for the rose. I love lavender. No other smell soothes my soul in quite the same way. I have a new adoration for hydrangea, which are prolific and long lasting. I like delicate pansies with their little faces...but their is nothing in this world more perfect than a rose. Visually speaking, The rose is also the one flower I feel unable to properly capture in a photograph. No matter how beautiful my rose portraits are, I am unable to beat the beauty of nature itself. (A Rose's Last Hurrah, the pink rose above, is the one that I feel has come closest to the perfection I seek. It's colors are delicate and also vibrant. The details of the petals are visible with fine lines that add a porcelain quality the flower. The iamge shows the petals unfolding, their curves and slight imperfections. The image include leaves and thorns, showing the rose's whole character.)

My husband once paid me a great compliment...he is not really a flower person. He enjoys my gardens, but doesn't feel a connection to them really. He told me that my flower photographs are more beautiful than the flowers themselves. He said that my photos make him see beauty that he never would have otherwise noticed. My husband doesn't say things like this unless he means them.

I love capturing a flower's essence. When I hang my flower images on my walls, they brighten the room and remind me of spring. My pictures can make me as happy as seeing the real thing...but not my pictures of roses. It's not just my pictures though...I can't think of any rose image I've seen that evokes the same mood from me that a real rose does. Delicate soft petals, rich colors, curvaceous blossoms gently unfolding...sometimes we just can't improve or match nature's best.

My husband gave me a dozen yellow roses yesterday. These are extra special because they have coral edging. I walk by the kitchen counter and have to stop to smell them. They are exquisite. The flowers are about half open now and I'm toying with the idea of creating a still-life with them. Is it a useless endeavor? Perhaps if I keep at it and keep creating photos that unsatisfy me, the rose will become my nemesis and my passion for it will suffer. How do other artists deal with this? Do you keep trying to capture the elusive subject or do you eventually give up and move on?

Indoor Garden Portraits

We had a few inches of snow last night. It is now raining and ice is hanging from the trees. I am SO not a winter person. By New Year's eve I have had enough of winter. By February and March I am dragging. I am ready for gardening, outdoor garden portraits and sunshiny pictures!

While stuck inside I try to bring a little sunshine indoors. I sometimes head to my favorite local flower shop, The Flower Cart, here in Bedford and purchase a nice bouquet to play with and photograph. I set up still lifes (which I'll talk about tomorrow) and use some for self portraits and portraits of others. I always try to include flowers in any portraits I do, either indoor or out. It's becoming a trademark of sorts I suppose.

When including flowers in portraits, I try to pick ones that match the season or the mood of the photographs. Kids with great big sunflowers are fun in the late summer. Dark roses for a romantic feeling indoors are nice. Perhaps I should try including the symbolism of the flowers, which I talked about a few days ago, in my portraits too.

When photographing portraits indoors, I try to use natural light. I like using two corner windows as a backdrop to light both sides of the subject. I do not have a traditional light set up and on dark days I use a flash and/or my sunlamp. The light emits a soft yellow when it is covered with a see through white cloth. I find this ideal for dramatic lighting. I've included today a portrait of my daughter, taken for her first piano recital, using the sunlamp.

To further enhance the garden portrait feel, I set the scene with appropriate cloth backdrops and wraps and "garden" clothes (which can be anything from a fancy dress to overalls). One doesn't necessarily need a fancy studio setup and props for portraits. Pay attention to details. Check out your background. Make sure there is no clutter and that the background is not busy. Add elements (such as flowers) that evoke the mood you are trying to capture. To bring in the feel of the garden, pay most attention to your light. A dark portrait or one that has obvious flash burn screams "indoor portrait" and does not make one think about gardens.

The Gardener's Soul

"Gardeners approach their landscapes with passion and purpose. We garden because the aroma and sight of fresh colorful flowers make our senses tingle. The taste of fresh vegetables eaten as soon as they are plucked from the vine makes our mouths sing. We plant because the feeling of dirt between our fingers soothes our spirits. Our flexed muscles from tilling the earth and hauling rocks feel strong and vibrant. Gardening is exercise. It is relaxation or a chance to be out in the sunshine. The garden is a place to meditate, to party, to sit and read, or a place to enjoy with our loved ones. Gardening is a way to commune with nature and to explore what it means to be human. It is a way to form a bond with our surroundings and the living beings in it. In the garden we learn to gain an acceptance of whatever life offers. The act of gardening gives us time and inspiration to ponder about ourselves and to explore our own souls. It makes us feel more alive...."

And so I begin my book, The Gardener's Soul: Nature's Path Toward Inner Peace. I finished my book proposal yesterday and a friend is reviewing it today. Last summer, I visited 14 female gardeners and took photographs of them for the project. I found these women through my local garden center and was very surprised how enthusiastic everyone was about the project. I continue (is it okay to quote myself?)...

"In this book, I present fourteen stories about diverse women with very different personalities, occupations, and gardening styles. The common bond is that the women are all strongly tied to their gardens and their identities as gardeners. They are also deeply respectful of, or attuned to, nature. Each gardener has her own unique style that is reflected in her handiwork. Each finds inspiration for her life from her garden. Tales of creativity, peace, simplicity, energy, beauty, strength and deference are woven throughout this book."

I have spent the past autumn and winter writing about these women and my visits with them. I wanted to write a draft of the book before I wrote the proposal just to see what I had to say. This is my second book, but my first in this field. Additionally, for my first book I was approached by the publishing company to write it. I was working as the archivist at the Waltham Public Library and Arcadia Publishing Company was seeking to publish a local history about the City as part of their Images of America series.. I controlled the records. They wanted access. It worked out well...but it was a very different experience than what I am going through now. After spending so much time on this book, I feel like I am now putting myself out there to see if anyone likes me or my writing. A friend reminded me yesterday that it took J.K. Rowling about twenty submits to publishers before she found one willing to take her on. So, I'm plugging away and remaining hopeful.

I have also been doing a lot of garden reading this winter. One topic that has come up a few times in book reviews I read relates to garden writers. They say that anyone who gardens and also writes will one day eventually try to write a gardening book. I hope that I become one in a line of writers who actually gets her book published...though I think if need be, I will consider self-publishing. (Does anyone have experience with either publishers or self-publishing?)

Meeting my fourteen women gardeners has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. There is such a feeling of camaraderie among gardeners. I am very grateful to these special people who shared a little bit of their passion and their soul with me by sharing their gardens. Each of these women let me into a very personal space and helped me to see that my little garden is part of something much bigger.

I hope to share more about my book and experiences with it in the coming months. I am including a few photos from the project for you to see.

Memories of Trees

Yesterday I mentioned how I remember the trees in my life. I thought today I'd talk about them a little bit.

- The first trees I remember having special meaning to me were the weeping willows in my neighbor's yard. The older neighborhood kids ran their "club" under those trees When I was invited to join the group, I felt like I was something special. The willows sheltered us from the grownups. Their sweeping branches were the perfect hideout.

- In my backyard we had a weeping cherry that we cut down. The mud pit left in its wake was a favorite spot for playing, especially for a tomboy.

- In my yard we also had a mimosa that was cut down when it suffered from disease. The spot it left behind was empty and sad. As a young child, the cherry's mud pit was much more exciting than the cherry tree. As an older child, the fuzzy pink flowers of the mimosa made a greater impression.

- In my yard we also had crab apple trees from which we would garner the gruit and make applesauce for winter. Picking the apples up from the ground was an annoying chore as we picked through a never ending pit of rotting fruit before it burned out the lawn.

- Finally, I fondly remember the dogwood in front of my bedroom window. Its perfectly shaped flowers greeted the spring. As an adult I have sought the perfect dogwood to plant up here in honor of my fond childhood memories.

Humans can form a special bond with the trees. To me, they each seem like characters in my life play. With some we develop special attachment -- friendships that can last a lifetime.

My sister spent her childhood climbing the mimosa tree in a neighbor's yard while chasing butterflies. I did not have a special fondness for that particular arbor. It was Liz's tree until new neighbors bought the property and put a fence around the backyard. This effectively cut my sister off from one of her best friends. She was very sad to lose that tree from her life.

My first home as an adult was on a corner plot of land. We owned the property up to the woods and the woods themselves were actually on the corner. We lived in that house for six years and felt somewhat buffered from the busy streets that surrounded us because of the woods next door. We were told or we assumed when we moved in that the land that held the woods was too small to accommodate houses. Then, one day the wrecking machines came it, clearcutting the woods to put up three houses on tiny little plots. I was devastated. I cried as the machines did their dirty work. I told my husband that I needed to move.

We found a property surrounded by trees, but it took time. The first house the realtor showed us was new construction on clearcut land. The developed showed us around. I asked him why they clearcutted to build their houses. Why didn't they work around the trees? He said that people wanted large grassy spaces and did not want trees. I find that hard to believe....I find that very sad. I love living among swaying trees that shelter my family and harbor wildlife. They create an atmosphere of warmth and compassion. I am at one with nature in my house on the hill surrounded by woods.

My photography generally focuses on macro views of flowers, but once in awhile I change the lens to stand back and take a look at the trees. My favorite trees to photograph are birch trees. They are quintessential New England - very Robert Frost and elegant. I am also particularly fond of a unique tree at Greeley Park in Nashua NH. I go back every season to photograph this ancient looking tree with twisting boughs. (I've included its photo here.) I am also fond of the trees in front of the Manchester City Library. They also have an ancient look about them and must have been planted when the library was first built. Back then we had foresight to incorporate regal plantings into our construction projects. What have we lost? Frederick Law Olmsted would be horrified by our current building efforts. He worked so hard to incorporate trees and we work so hard to take them out.

If you want to read something wonderful, check out photographer James Balog's Tree: A New Vision of the American Forest. The book contains Balog's fantastic tree portrait collages. The trees he photographs are so large that he takes many photos of their parts and pastes them together to show the whole. He swings from ropes on each tree to pull himself into the best positions to capture the tree's unique personalities. His writing about his work is powerful, but the photos themselves are awe inspiring.

Hug a tree today. (Or at least take a look at one and smile!)

A Personal Connection to Nature

I have been reading a lot of gardening books this winter. My favorite books are about people's personal experiences in the garden. I began reading these books as research for the book that I am writing. (This summer I interviewed 14 female gardeners about their gardening experiences and am writing about them. I will talk more about this in later postings.) I am finding myself deeply fascinated by these personal stories. One in particular touched me very deeply and made me reconsider my own connection to my landscape -- both indoors and out.

Judith Handelsman's Growing Myself addresses how all life is interconnected. The author talks about how she learned to better care for her plants by relating to them on a personal level. She discusses how talking to her plants helps them grow. She talks about how our positive and negative thoughts and actions affect our plants growth. She explains how it is important to respect nature for our own personal growth.

I started thinking about my houseplants. I have always considered my gardening talents to lie in my outdoor garden. I tend to kill houseplants. I forget to water them or leave them in obscure corners of the room in an attempt to "brighten" the corner. Before reading Handelsman I chose whatever houseplant struck my fancy, without consideration to how the plant would fit within my home and lifestyle. But now I understand my folly. I have begun strategically placing houseplants in spots that will make them happy -- near bright sunny windows, near each other, in places I frequent and won't forget to water them. I talk to my plants and stroke their leaves almost every day. I live with my plants and have welcomed them into my home as living entities rather than inanimate objects. My houseplants are thriving and I feel much calmer about getting through this usually dreadful winter season.

I realized that I have always felt a connection to outdoor plants. Trees especially have always been friends to me. I remember most of the trees in my life, but houseplants never impressed me in quite the same way. Handelsman talks about bringing outdoor trees in and using them to make nature a part of your life wherever you are. One story about a large sickly tree that she took on, lovingly placed in a corner of her apartment, nursed, and hung a hammock from was inspirational. For a plant is a plant whether indoors or out. I've been buying large pots to transplant my houseplants. I spread newspaper out on the floor and dip my hands into bags of potting soil. It's not quite like digging in the dirt outside, but it can warm my soul until the snows melt here in New Hampshire.

Symbolism of Flowers

I have an undergraduate degree in art history. Since my studies, I have been fascinated with symbolism - the "hidden" meanings people attach to images and objects. As a student, I wrote a thesis about the images on gravestones, but these days I am more interested in the perhaps less morbid imagery of flowers. (Perhaps one can see a connection between the two... I went from images of death to ones that represent life and rebirth.)

In my fine art photographs, I focus on flowers in full bloom. I began taking floral photos after the birth of my daughter. I had struggled with infertility for a long time before she came along. After my greatest joy, it was easy to associate my beautiful flowers with the idea of a woman blossoming.

I now try to include flowers in all of my fine art images. I have photographed myself holding flowers and children dancing in flowers. I include flowers in still-lifes setups. Recently I began reading about the symbolism of particular species. I am fascinated with the idea of exploring how flowers can be used in portraiture in more unique ways.

During the Victorian era, the symbolism attached to flowers reached its pinnacle when people gave gifts of flowers to express sentiments they felt they could not utter. For example, forget-me-nots meant true love; Lobelia symbolized ill-will; Campanula represented thankfulness. (I'd like to meet any of the persons who sent or received Lobelia. What would your reaction be if you received a delivery of Lobelia from the florist?)

One of the oldest flower symbols and my personal favorite is the lotus, which in Buddhist tradition is representative of enlightenment. The lotus rises from the muck to reveal something beautiful. It symbolizes that even if we are stuck in a bad situation in our lives, we can overcome it. We can rise from the mess and make a new beginning for ourselves. I love that idea.

So when you say it with flowers this Valentine's day. Make sure you say the right thing! BTW, red roses do many true love, but perhaps you can be more creative this year and deliver forget-me-nots instead. I saw on a talk show the other day that most women do not like red roses...news to me... though I do prefer yellow roses myself. One of the Victorian meanings of yellow roses is infidelity, so maybe I had better not hope to get these!

See the Language of Flowers for more information.

Garden Catalogues

They're here! They're here!

I went online a few weeks ago and ordered all of the free gardening catalogs that I could find. Many places charge for their catalogs, which is understandable considering the expense to them. The prices are reasonable at only a buck or two a piece, but I figure if I don't know the garden company I don't want to spend money on their catalog. The costs could add up fast. My mom says now that I will be on everyone's mailing list, getting junk mail from obscure places. But I don't care ...except for the twinge of guilt about the trees that are being killed by my living large, covered in catalogs. Hopefully it's at least recycled paper and I'm told that's mostly what they use these days anyway...I am dreaming of spring. I am moving my vegetable garden this year to a larger, flatter piece of my property. I also plan to go crazy with hydrangea and flowering perennials to fill in my garden spaces.

We moved to this property three years ago. There were many established and very large plants, but the landscaping was not cared for by a true gardener. I have slowly been moving and reshaping the backbone of my garden. I now know exactly what I want to do here. I have visions of great English Victorian-like spaces. There will be hidden hideaways where my daughter and her friends can play with large expanses of green between. (I'm trying to convince my husband that the green should be clover and not lawn.) There will be flowers blooming continually. There is shade and sun and will be wild mystical gardens with waist high wild flowers. There will also be a tame formal herb garden that even include boxwood. I am not a fussy gardener, so tame is relative...

In my old house I ordered three burning bushes (when they were still allowed in these parts) from catalogs and received sticks in the mail. By the time I left the property seven years later, the sticks each had about three branches and grew from a foot high to two feet high. So, this time, I'm taking my time making my choices. I've read that mail ordering perennials is not always a great idea, so I'm going to start with a few.

These are the catalog I have in hand. More I expect will be trickling in:
Park Seed Company
Thompson and Morgan
White Flower Farm
Bluestone Perennials
Dutch Gardens
and of course the obligatory Burpee. I've been on their mailing list for years.
I am so excited about Bluestone with its unusual flowers and awesome prices.

I have been a shameless garden store junkie in the past, wandering through the aisle and spending my self-given "allowance" every week on whatever catches my eye. As a floral photographer, I have visited garden centers almost every week during the growing season over the past couple of years just to take photos. I never walk away empty handed though. There is always something new, beautiful, bright and tempting. It seems like it will be easier to control myself while catalog shopping. HA HA!

My interest in catalogues was awakened by the book "Two Gardeners: A Friendship in Letters" about Katherine S. White and Elizabeth Lawrence. The book is an archivists dream. (In my other life I'm an archivist, managing historical records.) We get a peak into the personal lives of these personable women and the camaraderie they form through their shared gardening passion. Both women were famous garden writers. Katherine S. White was also the wife of famous novelist E.B. White. One of the things for which she was best known was her catalog reviews. She spoke about catalogs with passion. What a fascinating history these glossy colored booklets must have. I can't wait to learn more!

Any advice about mail ordering perennials will be appreciated.