First Sign of Spring: The March Pessimist

Yesterday, I saw the leaves of a pansy within my foundation plantings. My daughter and I were returning from a walk and the green leaves glistened at us. I find it strange that this is the first sign of spring I have seen. We still have a foot of snow on the ground, yet it slowly melts away from the driveway and walkways. Wasn't I supposed to see a crocus first? I was left excited and at the same time unsatisfied with my first sign of spring. The ground is still cold -- brown and white predominate. When I looked closer at it, small green leaves were sprouting up. Weeds?!!!! I get to start with weeds?!!!! "Well, weeds do mean I will be able to work the soil soon," I tell myself.

Then I start thinking about chemicals...I was up last night thinking (worrying?) about the new vegetable garden I'm planning. As the snow creeps away from the driveway I notice that the grass is green. It is not supposed to be green yet! In autumn, I canceled the lawn service my husband convinced me to get a year ago. I imagine the chemicals infiltrating the lawn, my perennials, my (organic?) gardens. I worry about those chemicals in the vegetable garden that doesn't exist yet. When I turn over the grass to prepare a plot, surely I will not find worms in there. Surely they have run to the neighbors brown lawn, making the soil beautiful for any organic gardening he has planned. I have ruined my plan for expanded chemical free goodies that will feed my family all through the season. Curses chemical lawn services! And what about all of the salt we dumped on the driveway this winter? What about those invasive vines that were strangling the trees in my forest? Did I get rid of them? Did I kill the trees too with the chemicals I felt I had to use to get rid of those rotten things that I couldn't pull up?

The snow won't melt fast enough. I"ll never get the gazebo repainted this year. Now what were those new bulbs I planted and where did I put them? I"m sure that the chipmunks will get to them before I ever get to see them....maybe that is why I haven't seen a crocus yet. They ate them!

The March pessimist comes around every year. My gardens will never be perfect. Last year 8 grasses that decorated my yard died. I almost lost the hollies. The gardens still went on. I replaced the grasses with other plants. I anticipate the growing season with great excitement, but I must wait almost another two months until things are really under way. It gives me time to reflect on the past mistakes and worry about their effects on the future of my garden. I learn more every year. Come mid-April the snow should be totally gone. It's really not the long from now. (Then again, a month is 1/12th of a year. when you look at it that way it does seem like a long time. HARUMPPPH!)

I promise beautiful colorful sunny pictures tomorrow. I"ll put the March pessimist in her place.